I am pretty, still.

I will admit that pregnancy has made me a little self conscious. Okay, some days very self conscious. I know that some would consider me more fortunate than some other pregnant ladies because I have yet to have single bad break out *knock on wood* and I haven't gained much weight at all, I'm all boobs and tummy. And yes, I will say that I am thankful for that but I still have my days where "ugly" is the only thing I can see when I look in the mirror. I am slowly but surely getting over the awkward stage I like to refer to as the "Is she pregnant or did she just eat too much?" stage. My baby bump is showing up more and more as the days pass and I know it'll just continue to grow which is exciting. Some days I wonder if I'll ever have my flat, toned tummy again. I will embarrassingly admit that the other day I had a serious breakdown thinking I saw a stretch mark on my stomach. I just kept thinking that I was going to be so gross and Ryan wouldn't love me if I had stretch marks. I know, it sounds crazy and it IS a crazy thought, but that is what pregnancy does to you! Later I realized that the red line I saw was actually just a scratch that was starting to appear and I felt better. I was always told that if my mom didn't get stretch marks during her pregnancy, that the chances of me getting them would be slim to none so when I thought I saw one, it was another step in the "Oh my gosh, my body is changing so much" direction and it freaked me out. Ryan laughed and hugged me and reassured me that I am beautiful and will always be beautiful, stretch marks or not. Of course he will and I know that.

I know pregnancy is a roller coaster ride filled with so many different emotions and feelings. I know very well that you can be so confident one second and very uncertain the next. I would say it's one of those "joys of pregnancy" that they didn't mention in any of the books I've read. Maybe there is a book out there about being proud and confident during your pregnancy. Maybe it explains that it's normal and okay to also lose that confidence from time to time, and maybe some tips on dealing with it. Who knows? Maybe I will write it :)

The point of this post though wasn't to talk about how ugly I am or my imperfections. It's to remind myself (and all of you other pregnant ladies out there) that I am pretty. I have always been pretty and I will always be pretty. I am growing a precious little girl inside of me. What could be more beautiful than that? She is healthy and she is active. And she is so unbelievably loved. I would gladly take all the stretch marks and pimples in the world to have this little girl and give her everything she needs. So, here I am saying that if I get a stretch mark it is nothing to be ashamed of. Here I am saying that if it takes me longer to get my pre-baby body back, that is okay. Those are my beauty marks of the most beautiful gift I have ever been given. The gift of life. The gift of our first Baby Girl.