Lots On My Mind Today

I have a lot on my mind today so I figured before I start my day, I'd take some time to get everything out so my shoulders don't hurt from this heavy load I've been carrying.

First things first, some exciting news! I think I have finalllly felt our baby move! I am always confused if what I am feeling is gas in my stomach or in fact our precious little one moving around but yesterday, I kind of just "knew." I was laying in bed and felt a little tap about an inch below my belly button and not even a second later felt another tap right next to the first spot. All I could imagine were our little one's feet dancing around in my belly and it was an amazing feeling. I still tried convincing myself it was gas but after talking to some of my girlfriends they confirmed they think the movements are Baby Haley! It makes me so happy. I love Our Baby so much. On another baby note. I finally broke down and bought a fetal heart monitor.I find myself worrying too much and I know being able to hear our Baby's heartbeat whenever I want will really help. I drive myself crazy between doctors appointments! It was shipped today so I hope that it gets here really soon! I can't wait for Ryan to hear it!

Ok, so now for the vent-sesh. This morning on FB someone posted a status that got me thinking. Well, I've been feeling this way for quite some time but this made me feel a little better. It said something along these lines :

"I only want people in my life who want to be there, not the ones who feel they have to be."

I've noticed that some people in my life would probably be just fine without me. They already live as if I barely exist anyways. Actually, some of them would probably be happier if I was no longer in the picture at all. Pretty sad if you ask me but I have to remind myself that they are the unhappy ones, not me. My feelings may get hurt from time to time, but I am nowhere near being unhappy with my life nor do I want to waste my life being angry with people for reasons that I'm too afraid or care too little to even address with that person. If you don't care to talk about things, why care enough to stay angry? Anyways, back to the first thing I mentioned. The people in my life who would be fine without me or already live as if I don't exist. Why do I even need people like this in my life? Why should I need you, if you don't need me too? There are certain people in my life who I thought would care more about the fact that Ryan and I are having our first child that really have made no effort to know anything about this pregnancy. Not a single call or text asking how I'm dealing with the pregnancy or how our Baby is doing. Not a single comment or message on FB asking about the Baby. No excitement towards this wonderful milestone in our life. So absorbed in their own hatred that they can't even be happy for us for one single minute. Or even pretend to be happy for us. I wonder this; If they don't care to know anything about the Baby now, will they even care when this little one arrives? I don't know. This is just one of those things that has been circling around my mind for so long and instead of keeping it in and making my Baby feel all of these things, I figured I'd get it out and let my Baby do a happy dance or something because we do, in fact, have some wonderful, wonderful people in our lives who are excited to be a part of this journey with us and who do are about our little family and I can't let the rest get me down :) Maybe some day they will come around. If not, their loss because Ryan and I and our Baby have lots of happiness to share with the people we care about and love!