It doesn't get much better than this....

Thank you, Lord, for Ryan. He is the most amazing husband a girl could ever hope for. He loves me and shows me in the most wonderful ways each and every day. My life wouldn't be complete without him and each and every day I am so thankful for this life you've given us. I thought love like this only existed in fairy tales but you surprised me and blessed me with my very own. You've given us the gift of life and together we will raise this child with the most love and happiness a person could hope for. So, I thank you today, and every day, for these blessings I couldn't live without.

VACA!

Vacation time! Mini vacation time, that is. But nonetheless, we are so looking forward to our getaway weekend coming up! We have been non stop on the go since we moved to Arizona, it seems. Almost immediately after moving here, we both picked up full time jobs... Ryan's being a job and a half with the crazy amount of hours he works... along with putting in extra hours working on the house, starting our garden, buying a new car, finding out about Baby, and everything else, it just feels as if we haven't had much time to just relax and enjoy ourselves and each other. Well, this weekend that's exactly what we're going to do. We're getting away to a peaceful resort with beautiful pools and private cabanas and fancy restaurants in a gorgeous setting and we're going to do nothing except relax... Okay, and do a little shopping for The Hub's at Cabela's :) All I've wanted to do for the longest time is just relax by the pool, get some sun, enjoy the cool water, and spend some quality, task-free time with Ryan. IS IT FRIDAY YET!? I just absolutely can not wait for this weekend to get here! I need to make a list of supplies to buy before we head out : Sun screen, new towels, big floppy hat, maybe a new pool bag... Maybe I will go get those today... or maybe I should wait so I'm not staring at them in anticipation while the next 4 days creep by. At least mid week I have something to look forward to. My next doctors appointment to hear the babies heartbeat! Yay! That is always so exciting! I haven't been able to hear it yet, I've just watched the rhythm of it on the screen so this is an extra special appointment and I can't wait! Ahh, well Ryan is about to call on his lunch break so I'll wrap this up but be on the lookout for our vaca pictures on FB next week! Adios!

1 + 1 = 3

One plus one equals three. True or False? Most people would argue that one plus one actually equals two therefore my statement rings false. On the other-hand though, if you're talking about my current situation, my statement actually rings true. Confused? Let me put it this way. One person + another person often = a little person. And if you're still confused... my gosh! I'M PREGNANT! No simpler way of putting it than that :) I know, I can't believe it either. Pretty dang exciting, eh? We found out a little over a month ago now and the thought of having a child is definitely sinking in. The feelings of having a child are definitely sinking in as well. I'm talking about the wonderful, so called, "morning sickness" that actually occurs all day long, every day of my life. And the pure sense of exhaustion I get, also, every day of my life. Some days it's frustrating beyond belief to feel this worthless all the time. I'm literally too tired to cook dinner when I get home from work and my days off are spent trying to catch up on rest so it's safe to say that come Sunday, we have a ton of laundry to catch up on. And as frustrating as the sickness gets, the days I get to see our baby on the ultrasound or watch the rhythm of it's heartbeat make it more than worth it. There is nothing like seeing your own child developing and moving in your own body. Because I'm still very early on, I don't feel the baby inside of me (the side effects, yes!) so being able to see it on the ultrasound reassures me that all of this crappiness is so so so worth it!! My first ultrasound was at 5.5 weeks and the baby was a teeny tiny dot that decided to show up at the very last second. My second ultrasound was at 8.5 weeks and again, I was expecting to see a little dot show up, maybe just a little bigger than the last time, but wow! Our baby had grown so much in 3 weeks and it was such an exciting feeling! You could even see the umbilical cord which completely amazed me. My next US will be between 16-20 weeks when we find out the sex of the baby. I have a strange feeling that it's a little girl. I've felt that way since day one so I will be surprised if we're having a little boy. Ryan is hoping our first is a little boy, of course. He said he wants a little boy to call "Buddy" and take fishing, hunting, and camping. So cute! I will be happy with whatever God blesses us with, boy or girl, as long as he/she is healthy :) That's all I can ask for! It is still crazy for me to think that come January, Ryan and I will be welcoming our first child into our lives. We are so ready for it though. I am so thankful to have married the man I did. Not only is he the most helpful, supportive, loving man I could ever ask for, I know in my heart that he is going to be an amazing Dad and that means the world to me. I know that together we can accomplish anything and that we will both strive to give our child the most wonderful life imaginable I'm also thankful to have such a welcoming and supportive family who is also so excited for our newest addition to arrive. When we told my family, tears were a flowin' and smiles and laughter filled the air. We are so lucky to have them. Even more though, we are so lucky to have been given such an amazing gift of life; our first Baby.

Almost That Time...

I can not believe it's already June! I've been thinking a lot about this time last year and all that has happened since then. This time last year, my NC ladies and I were preparing for our Marines to come home from their deployment to Afghanistan. Although we still had a little over a month left, it was such an exciting time! I can remember perfectly the talks about what homecoming would be like, the planning on what to wear, the sign making, and just the all around joy we all felt that our men were finally coming home. As our one year anniversary of having our Marines home approaches, I'm filled with so many different emotions. The first; shock. I can't believe a year has already passed. In some ways, it feels like they just got home last week. The second; pure gratefulness that my husband was able to come home to me. Not everyone is lucky enough to say that and it breaks my heart. Third; pride that our men have the strength and courage to do the job that they do, selflessly. And although this one year anniversary is a mile marker in Ryan's journey and in our life, my heart weighs heavy this year. Approaching the one year anniversary of our men coming home, Ryan's Battalion will be preparing to leave on another tour to Afghanistan. Just one year after being home, they're sent away again. I can't describe the mixed emotions that both Ryan and I are feeling. At first I think of how thankful I am that he doesn't have to go back and immediately afterwards I think of one of my best friends who for the second time, will be delivering their new baby girl shortly after saying goodbye to her husband for the second time. I think of another friend who will be experiencing her first deployment in a completely new city clear across the country from her family. I think of the friends who just welcomed the newest addition to their family and are already forced to say goodbye to Daddy. I think of the friends that I cried with, prayed with, shared my deepest feelings with who will also be saying goodbye to their husbands again. I think about how lonely we felt, how sad and worried we felt. I remember the only thing getting me through the 6 weeks I hadn't heard from Ryan was the comfort of my friends. I think about the men who will miss their child's birth or will miss the first laugh or steps that their child takes. I think of the men who fear not making it home to their new wife. It's hard to feel thankful without feeling guilty that my husband is staying home when some of the people that I care most about are going to be experiencing one of the most difficult times in their lives without me. I mean, they know I'm a phone call away but there is something about experiencing it together that makes it different. This isn't going to make much sense... I don't wish to go through another deployment but I do wish to go through this difficult time with my friends. I want to be able to be there for them and help them like we were able to help each other last deployment. This time has also been difficult on Ryan. Although getting out of the Marines was a decision that he made, knowing that his Marines are going back without him has been hard for him to accept. He says "it's weird" knowing that he's not able to be there to help his guys out. As much as his deployments sucked, he, in a way, enjoyed them. Of course he missed being away from family and away from the comforts of his own home, but infantry was his job and he loved it. He's a natural born leader and was good at what he did. He liked being able to do his job and there is something about "being with the guys" in Afghanistan that you just don't feel anywhere else. He always says, "if they needed me, I'd go back in a heartbeat." Some people ask me how I'd feel if he went back in. Honestly, if he went back in to help his Marines out, I would be so proud. Of course I would feel scared and sad at times, but how can you not be proud of a man who cares so deeply for something like that? I would support his decision 110% if it was what he knew he wanted and needed to do. I don't really know where I'm going with this other than that my heart just breaks for these people that we love and care so much about. I know I wont personally be experiencing this deployment with these ladies, but in my heart, I am. I know what it feels like. I know how hard it is and if it means anything, I'm here and always will be. Each and every day I pray for these ladies and their Marines and will continue to pray until each of them is reunited with their loved ones. God Bless the Marines, Sailors, and families of 1st Battalion 6th Marines.

Busy Doesn't Begin To Explain It

I can't explain how wonderful it feels to be relaxing at home on a Monday! For those of you who don't know, I'm in my 4th week of my new job! It is going very well and besides the normal crap that comes with any new job, I'm loving what I do! I'm working at a therapeutic boarding school for troubled teenaged girls and I can already tell that it will be an amazingly rewarding experience. Sundays and Mondays are my days off but the past few weeks have been hectic so my schedule was all messed up and I think this is the first Monday I've had off since I started. I'm using the time to catch up on things like grocery shopping, house decor shopping, and of course, some relaxing! Tuesdays thru Saturdays are my normal schedule. I get off rather early though so I'm home before Ryan and still have the whole afternoon to get dinner ready and things together for the next day, so that is nice. Ryan is currently working 55+ hours a week at work so you can imagine how busy (and tired!) he is. Bless his sweet little heart, he is such a hard worker and still finds the time and energy to make me the happiest girl in the world. Lately, he's been surprising me with a fresh bouquet of flowers every single week! After working 12 hours a day you would think he'd want to come home and just fall right asleep. Nope. He's always thinking of something loving and thoughtful. How did I get so lucky!?

My Grandmother Dorothy passed away earlier this month and was laid to rest last week. What a wonderful woman she was. Always willing to do whatever she could for everyone else with a smile on her face and love in her heart. She had been suffering from Alzheimer's for years and her health began to deteriorate so as sad as it is that she isn't physically here with us anymore, I'm thankful that she is no longer sick and in pain. Knowing that she is able to watch after us and be apart of our lives in a more spiritual way brings happiness to my heart. My brother was able to come home from Afghanistan on emergency leave to spend time with the family and attend the funeral. I'm so thankful for that. He has to go back this Friday and I'm not looking forward to it at all. I've missed him so much since he's been gone and it seemed as if everything just fell back into place and having him here just felt normal. I knew that sooner or later he'd have to leave.. I just wish it wasn't back to Afghanistan. But he has a job to do, and he'll do it and come back. It's just so nice having everyone together. I love that him and Ryan got to spend so much quality time together. They are the best of friends and I am so grateful for that. They are so funny together and I know that Ryan will miss having him around too.

Lets see, what else? Progress on our house has somewhat slowed down due to not enough hours in the week. With Ryan working 55+ hours/week and me working 40/week, we're pretty exhausted. Saturday afternoons and Sundays are our only days to get things done and the weekends seem to just fly by so quickly. We did get tile laid in our bathroom though and it looks so beautiful! The only part left is around the toilet and we have planned to pull it out this weekend and finish it up. I also need to paint one more wall and hopefully I can get that done someday after work this week. I went and bought 4 really pretty lamps today for around the house, so that's exciting. I love decorating the house! We were planning on laying wood floors throughout the remainder of the house but we've decided to go with carpet and I am so excited for that! I really wanted carpet all along! It's so much more homey to me and I'd rather run a vacuum than sweep and mop any day!

Well, hubs just called and is on his way home from work so I better get going. I think I'll make some chicken alfredo for dinner. Ooo, yummy!

HAPPINESS

If you want to be happy, then be. Don't let anyone else get in the way of that. Don't let the actions of others bring you down. Simply find the things that bring joy to your life and forget about all the rest. Life is too short to worry about what others think of you. The most important thing is how you feel about yourself and I feel really good about the person I am. I may not be the prettiest girl or the richest girl in the eyes of some, but to me, I have it all. I have a heart that loves like no other, a soul that cares for all, and a mind that keeps me focused on what truly matters. I put my heart and soul in everything that I do and that makes me pretty. I have a husband who loves and adores me and does a wonderful job at making me feel like the most beautiful and loved girl in the world. I get to share the most amazing things in life with him. I have a family that loves us to pieces and supports us through every decision we've made to this day. I have friends that have become my "chosen family" that I cherish and would do anything for. That makes me rich.

Focus on the things that really matter. We all have qualities that make us the "prettiest" and the "richest." Some times you've just got to sort through all the crap and remind yourself what it is that makes you, you. The pretty you. The rich you. The you that you love. The you that the important people in your life love. That is what matters. A friend of mine once told me (after telling her I was worried about what someone thought about me), "...Don't worry about them. If they don't like you, they obviously don't know you or are passing judgment because of something they're unhappy or upset about. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person because you're one of the most kind, loving, good hearted people I've known my whole life." I know that because she's my friend she'll always have something nice to say, but it's true and goes for everyone. If someone doesn't like you or passes judgment on you, don't take it personally. Stop and think about why they don't like you or why they're upset with you. I would almost guarantee that 9 times out of 10, it's a selfish, self centered reason; something that has more to do with them rather than with you. Whether it be personal insecurities, plane ole' selfishness, or whatever, it shouldn't affect the way you feel about yourself. Remember the famous quote... "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Give people a chance before passing judgement, they might turn out to be an amazing friend! Embrace life and be happy!!

Do you think he really cares what people think about him?

Why should we!?

Late Night Ramblin'

After posting "late night" in my title, I looked at my clock to see it's only 8 o'clock, HA! Since Ryan has started working his new job, we get up at 2am so our bedtime is usually 6:30-7:00. Most nights, like tonight, we put a movie in and watch until we fall asleep. Tonight however, I'm trying to stay up a bit later so I can hopefully sleep better. I know it sounds creepy but I love watching Ry sleep. Not for like hours, that would in fact be creepy, but just looking over and seeing him sleep makes me just want to hug him so tight! I wonder if all people in love feel this way? Well, whatever. On a different note, I applied for a job at a school called Spring Ridge Academy last week and was called in for an interview a couple days later. Well, today I got the call offering me the job! I was so excited and so proud of myself but hesitant to take the job because of the hours. It's a boarding school so it's functioning 24/7 and unfortunately I got offered either 2nd or 3rd shift which would really cut back my time with Ryan. We talked things over and I ended up accepting the position for 3rd shift. All in all, I'm pretty excited and I know it will be a great opportunity. I'm so happy that they felt I'd be a good candidate for such an amazing position. I'm just very proud of myself. And if it's not all that I hoped it would be, I can always quit. I'd rather know for sure than wonder "what if?" There's only one way to find out and thats to try it out so we shall see!

I was going to complain about some stuff thats been bothering me today but you know what... I'm feeling too happy and too blessed right now to even worry about the selfish, mean people in my life and they're not worth my energy. Instead, I'm going to curl up with the most amazing husband and have a great night. You do the same!